I had a sigmoid and when the doctor started I sang “Anchors Away”! His new nurse, Evelyn, took me to an examining room and told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. the first joke could be turned into a riddle, although only for a person’s first colonoscopy. Later on I ask to have the TV channel changed. A general anesthetic is more dangerous, so it is not used unless necessary, such as for surgery. The doctor has the camera up there, watching the video on the screen. As some one who recently had a colonoscopy I thought the jokes were hilarious! When I was coming around from the seditive my doctor came in and just started laughing. pls do some homework b4 putting these jokes up – the patient is given high dose of sedatives and the procedure is carried out while he is unconscious… its easier to laugh when made-up jokes are believable. During the procedure, the doctor had both hands on my shoulders. Well, thankfully i havnt had to undergo this procedure myself – YET, that is (definitely dont want 2 speak too soon please! “I’m just part of the parade of assholes here in your last few months to wish you a happy retirement.”. Your email address will not be published. Free and Funny Reminders Ecard: The good news is, you don't need a Colonoscopy since your head is so far up your own ass you can see what's going on in there without my help. We still laugh about it. now I feel like a wise guy! Lucky 13, that’s just how many shocking comments this physician claimed his patients actually made while he was performing their colonoscopies. its still funny. I am pretty nervous. 11 Crappy One-Liners Sure To Leave You A Loser, “Take it easy Doc, you’re boldly going where no man has gone before!”, “Are we there yet? I’m having my procedure done this fri. An ur comments have made me laugh :)), “I’m ready for my closeup, Mr. I was feeling nervous, and embarrassed about my upcoming colonoscopy. I even talked to my doctor asking him questions throughout. The nurse loved me! A pianist scored an interview at a local restaurant. Click here for more information. He is sent to the manager and is asked to play a few songs from memory. guess experience varies from person to person… Have a Happy New Year Tahnee! Sometimes, yes, but not all the time. Required fields are marked *, Copyright © 2005-2020 Funny & Jokes • All rights reserved. Yes it was painful,,, kinda like a really really bad gas cramp.. You can always assess the anxiety level of a colonoscopy patient by the tighness of the knot on thier gown! ", Or as my doctor insists on calling it, a colonoscopy, A guy goes in to his proctologist for a colonoscopy. True story so my dad(60M) had a colonoscopy today and since his father died of colon cancer he decided to tell us he had one and that all was good. Haha, Pollware for publishers to generate revenue with custom polling. I went to the doctor for my yearly physical, and as I'm getting on in years, the doctor suggested I get a colonoscopy. The doctor says, "At this point in the process, it's normal to experience an erection.". 32 of them, in fact! damn! To summarize, sigmoidoscopies are usually done without anesthetic so it is more uncomfortable. Most popular humor and joke blog on the internet. Enjoy! People write that stuff on their button cheeks. In fact I watched mine on the monitor. Go to an airport. I went into my proctologist's office for my first rectal exam. Grumpy cat found out he needs a colonoscopy, What a rip off...I never found skittles in a patient's colon! Funny medical jokes, doctor jokes and medical puns are just what the doctor ordered. The doc and staff seemed to enjoy it. Funny Colonoscopy Comments. Hope you have a year filled with laughter!! They give free x-rays and mammograms, and if you mention al-Qaeda, they'll throw in a free colonoscopy too! LOL!!!! ), but the people I had talked to who did do it, did say they were given sedatives n that they hardly felt anything since they were asleep for the most part… but of course like I sed, experiences can vary n different doctors may even follow different protocols as well… so my apologies if I offended any1 please.. Another funny was a guy (real story) who had colonoscopy done by physician friend asked doctor if he could have music other than “Dancing Queen” playing… Doc asked if he wanted him to increase the volume of the music, then the patient went under the anesthesia, I liked the last one it was the funniest…. Joe Boss has a very funny video on Youtube about colonoscopy, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1diuoQdf4Y. Colonoscopies are almost always done with. December 19, 2007 by F&J Staff 34 Comments. Feb 4, 2019 - Explore Valancy Bastian's board "Colonoscopy Humor" on Pinterest. It was just uncomfortable but did not hurt. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Did anyone sing “The Long and Winding Road?”. Both were done with sedation, however, it did not knock me out, I watched the whole procedure on the screen and remember everything. Then I asked him what inspired him to do THAT for a living! (Not referring to a colonoscopy that is…). Now I have to top that for my next one. I’ll bet they’ve heard it all just can’t talk about it publicly. thanks for the correction. Are we sure they didn’t take a hit of lsd before their colonoscopy? I wrote with a Sharpie on my lower back before my last colonoscopy, it read “Exit Only” with an arrow pointing down. After my routine procedure I told my wife, “Well they didn’t find cancer, but they found Jimmy Hoffa.” She thought that was funny. the scope does not travel as far up the colon as for a colonoscopy. Are we there yet?”, “You know in Arkansas we’re now legally married.”, “You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out…”, “If your hand doesn’t fit, you must quit!”, “Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.”, “You used to be an executive at Enron didn’t you?”, “Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there.”. On the way home, I told him how the nurses were joking, and he said he didn’t remember telling them that and was embarrassed that he had done so. Enjoy! You are not knocked out as under a general anesthetic. Thanks for the laughs! Browse literally thousands of totally free funny jokes, riddles, cartoons, pictures, videos and more. the last one was the best though. The patient is not always unconscious for this procedure. appreciate it. The house call is here! I guess I'm not as full of shit as I thought. And, as an added bit of info, a lot of people have sigmoidscopies, which are almost always done without sedation. Krish, make sure your information is correct before you correct someone yourself. god. Sep 28, 2014 - Explore Tricia Smith Christenson's board "Colonoscopy Humor" on Pinterest. For months after my husband’s first colonoscopy, whenever he flatulated, he jokingly said the doctor put too much air up there and he needed to get it out. On a recommendation, I decided to have it done while visiting friends in San Francisco. Don’t know if I’d told him my plan was to have an NRA target printed on my buns or the fact I had worn tighty whites under my gown as a last of defiance! Krish…you are so wrong…..one does not get sedation before having a colonoscopy….at least no one that I have talked to and had it done has…..been there…..done that. Somethings are just disturbing. DeMille!!!”. A big list of colonoscopy jokes! 32 photos - Radass.com. See more ideas about Colonoscopy humor, Humor, Colonoscopy. Sometimes the sedation works but for the rest of us anxious need to knows it does not! Ok, I’ve had 2 colonoscopies one at 28 and one at this year at 33. Whether you are asleep or awake, you are basically so loopy that you don’t notice the discomfort. And the two procedures are worlds apart! Where they fuck you in the ass, then explain that $20,000 is the uninsured rate for a phallic colonoscopy. Some funny and some not so. December 19, 2007 by F&J Staff 34 Comments, Lucky 13, that’s just how many shocking comments this physician claimed his patients actually made while he was performing their colonoscopies. So, yes you can be awake even given sedation and my doctor told me he gave me the maximum amount for my weight which is 128. They said they wanted to have a look and see if they could get to the bottom of it. I have had them both ways… Under sedation and no sedation. She goes to the dentist for a colonoscopy. • Privacy Policy • Terms of Service. Ouch. Personally I would like the sedation. Your email address will not be published. He says, "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, so I'm just letting you know it's totally normal to get an erection during the exam. Colonoscopies are done with what is called conscious sedation. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Thanks folks. Are we there yet? Create and send your own custom Reminders ecard. Изготовление продукции ( ) осуществляется на современном оборудовании, высоким качеством. to help give you the best experience we can. I was convinced that the beautiful nurses were allegedly more gentle and accommodating there. Doc, how is this procedure like Star Trek? I bet Krish must be a bit embarassed. While he was still “out” after his second colonoscopy, the nurses were joking about him telling the doctor that during the procedure. See more ideas about Colonoscopy humor, Humor, Colonoscopy. You guys are funny. As he lay on his side on the table, the doctor got ready to do the examination. Afterwards I asked him if is was as good for him. I always ask the Dr. to use two fingers as I want a second opinion. Might be a guy with big hands. I will have my first in 2 weeks. You are about to go where no one has gone before. But perhaps some on here are confusing them. Оптовая продажа, продаем на интернет сайте, Королев, Горки. Maybe I should update that to Osama ben Laden. Reminds me of how Obama must be feeling this month and next as the Jerimiha ‘Bullfrog’ Scope keeps being twisted during the continual proding. Get a funny take on today's popular news, entertainment, lifestyle, and video content -- all written by the people who bring you those funny ecards. She said that he would only be a few minutes. With a colonoscopy there's only a CHANCE you'll find cancer.