Kichah ("taking," the formal acquisition) approximates the economic term kinyan and seals the marriage. And happy anniversary! Many people came over to congratulate us even though it was quite late at night. From this time forward, all Jewish marriages must have both components in order to be valid. By the twelfth century in Germany and France, the two elements were no longer separate but were fused into one ceremony and that is how marriage is performed to this day. The Bible begins to use the term kichah as a preliminary to marital intercourse only after the Torah is received at Sinai. Head coverings. It is not to be confused with the ketubah, which is given as protection of the woman after the kiddushin. Ah I didn’t know that! Jewish marriage law consists not only of ishut, the determination of prohibited and permitted partners, but of kiddushin, the legal process of establishing the marriage bond. To receive exclusive, private secrets of the Hasidic way of life, subscribe to my newsletter! Thank you for sharing such an intimate look at your customs. The parents gave us a few minutes alone, then it was time for pictures. The dancing was spirited, joyous and lots of fun. I am a reform jew and and not accustomed to orthodox life. I woke up early and spent the morning praying. It wasn’t enjoyable but whose first time is? I enjoy your blog. He has spent the last 30 years working with orthodox Jews in Israel, who often know absolutely nothing about male-female interactions. I was your regular out-of-town Bais Yaakov girl. Some brides fast until after the Chuppah (ceremony) but I didn’t. Very interesting indeed!! In ultra-Orthodox Jewish society, sex is so taboo that an unmarried man will often keep his hands behind his back when on a date with a perspective bride. Contract (she'tar). When I graduated high school, I went to seminary just like everyone else. *), The chuppah progresses as I stand on the right side of my soon-to-be husband. My husband brought me into the ladies section and then continued to the men’s section as the wedding was separated. The Rabbis, in order to make this perfectly clear to the couple, framed the betrothal blessing to read: "...who has forbidden us the betrothed [arusot], and permitted us those who are married to us by chuppah and kiddushin.". I covered my hair from before the ceremony. A new sex guide to be published in Hebrew aims at teaching orthodox Jews the basics of sex. It’s considered the holiest moment of the wedding. It sounds like your wedding was beautiful, full of meaning and family! It’s also very interesting to me that you have the similar custom as we do (Hindus) of the bride walking around the groom 7 times during the ceremony! As for me, it was surreal. He went back to his Yeshiva. The second stage of the marriage process is the consummation. The moment that officially makes us husband and wife is when my fiancé puts a ring on my right-hand finger and declares:  “Behold, you are betrothed unto me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel.”, Now the ketubah is being read out loud and signed by two witnesses. The badchan also remembers the deceased grandparents and in our case, my husband’s father who was no longer alive. It is amazing the differences, but also some of the similarities. Do hasidic jews use the mikveh daily? I learned a … In regard to almost all valid marriages, even those that are prohibited, the Torah makes specific reference to kichah. About 2 months later we did have to meet in order for us to get married civilly. 7 blessings are recited by different men. Now it was time for something called the “mitzvah tantz” (dance). . It might take us a bit longer to get comfortable but once we do, it’s no different than the rest of the world. Makeup, hair. Time flew by and soon we got the call that it was time to leave. I don’t know if this is inappropriate to ask so feel free to tell me so (autism thing). Just like everyone else, or so I thought. I felt so comfortable around him, it was as if we saw each other yesterday. The families would be shamed if they could not afford a sumptuous all-day banquet in honor of the betrothal, and still another banquet in celebration of the nuptials. A presentation of Jewish teaching on love and marriage in light of Jewish traditions and laws. This is followed by a reading of the ketubah (the marriage contract). My husband and I will have to have a second wedding after conversion and, while I expect it will be a relatively simple affair, I’m betting his family may want to also celebrate some of their traditions as well.