. A practical way to deal with your ex’s new relationship is to look for a role model from your own life or pop culture i.e. Seek closure about whatever it is … No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who can’t stop thinking or talking about and ex or who hates his or her ex. Every single time I think, “Cool! But what I do know is, it’s ok. It’s normal. I wish he would plan his life around his son, … It is not healthy for kids to be put in the middle of your adult conflict. I've basically become bitter and angry because I've been hurt so many times by men. In fact, he’ll probably be even more of a jerk. Your story could be my own Someone did some awful things to you and now you want to return the favor. But it does point out how deep that anger goes, and how much of it affects daily life circumstances -- that can't be meditated or journaled away. Boy, was I idealistic. I know it's a matter of time until I develop a new internal self. Helen have you had any peace Oh. He doesn’t deserve happiness, he doesn’t deserve friends, he doesn’t deserve to achieve anything in life and he doesn’t deserve the admiration of others. I didn’t realize it. It just takes time. Wives Tell All: This Is Why I Hate My Husband So Much An … Validate all he did and how he made you feel by writing it down so that you have “evidence.” Tearing it up is symbolizing that you are too strong for it to hurt you forever, that you are choosing to be rid of it, and that you are survivor. I met him, his sister and a few friends for dinner. Information about your device and internet connection, including your IP address, Browsing and search activity while using Verizon Media websites and apps. But what is the solution to the problem? I willl forever hate my ex. But don’t even think about them anymore. I Hate My Husband's Ex-wife. I feel I have lost my identity ! And it sounds like you are doing that. My ex sucks. You hate asking for help or support so you suffer alone or vent your grievance story repeatedly to your family and friends. Our divorce was final last year. You have some serious problems, what your reasons you probably already know you have no excuse, pretend like you're smart, the fear and pain is evident and the fact you say these things to a person hurting is pretty low and I can only imagine the hell you live in to think putting someone down for faith in God was a good thing to do *smh* may God have mercy on your soul. I guess what I’m tyring to say is that you sound more indifferent at this point towards him versus hating him and that is great. I had just been through a bad experience when I was a child and therefore grew to have ZERO sense of 'danger' signal as a coping mechanism and just viewed as everyone as 'good' and gave people who didn't deserve a second change the benefit of the doubt. The twin prongs of custody and child support coupled with the American tradition of adversarial court proceedings sets a perfect stage to keep anger flowing. That person probably did something to create that feeling in you. I refuse to let him in my home. The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. You are embarrassed, ashamed, and feel like a failure. I was wound up after a very frustrating phonecall to him! that’s what matters. If that person is of the narcissistic type who hurts or betrayed people without any empathy for their pain,then there's no possible way.Normal people don't go around inflicting pain without feeling some guilt or sorrow. 10. It's been more than 3 years since my wife left and I'm still trying to figure out when I'll stop hurting. In “radically accepting” their father despite his flaws, I’m teaching my own kids how to love the best way possible. I was no longer feeling that burning rage in my belly after his texts. I live in the SF Bay Area. I have never felt such hate . Lost my job, my daughter lost her friends and her school. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. I won't deny it has taken me quite a bit of time to work through the pain, but I finally see that light at the end of the tunnel. Their marriage failed. Divorce is a journey. Feel that he isn’t truthful. Than turn around and ask me to give him chance and how much he loved me. What is? Why not request him to introduce you to her and then reveal his misconduct - which ought to be a big no-no to any woman, I believe? Clara your words resonate with. Load of Bcrsp. We have teenage boys and I was the one who had to tell them their Dad had walked out. That does not negate the fact that actions have consequences. They want their parents to remain in love, together. He has some good qualities. I wish I could agree with your statements concerning why it is so difficult to let go after betrayal, but the reality is that many of us entertain no illusion that the other person will care, understand, or indeed feel bad that they have harmed us. I am really happy with my life. But he keeps dragging me down into the murky depths of his sadistic garbage. I, too, have always intellectualized other people's behaviour(s) as "accidental", at least on an emotional level even though my mind knows otherwise. And as you said, if a person doesn't get it already, they never will. There's no debate to be had. I am now dating an amazing guy who is night and I do not contact him at all. Give him this one last chance. He was successful, and worked with a who's who list of mega media stars in business and in entertainment. Narcissistic abuse ,I had read ,Can take years to heal from . He rarely had interest in sex, and devalued and disregarded my feelings, my time, my work, and me. 4. Him but he always seems (I should have!). I’m happy – I’m a good person. I have We and our partners will store and/or access information on your device through the use of cookies and similar technologies, to display personalised ads and content, for ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Two and a half years since my cheating husband walked out of the door, the “time” part has done its job. In fact, my oversensitive nature is a curse that has led me to get hurt time and time again. Where do you find yourself? Glad he’s out of my life and herís gal he was cheating on with left him taking 40 grands. But ask me if I think he will change. It was costly, scary and miserable, and you thought it would never end. I lost all I worked for. Sometimes hatred is our compass, keeping us, guiding us, away from things we know are dangerous for us. Not to give the wrong impression though. But it is just that—a fantasy. He did not value me or the family and he did not recognize my contribution. And yes, just like when someone brings up a nostalgic memory of the past, you think of it, and unfortunately for me, that memory has no nostalgia. RELATED: Why Do I Keep Dreaming About My Ex? Your email address will not be published. Although we both came from humble beginnings (his bordering on poverty as an immigrant) he rose up in his career and although I was there through it all to propel him through his career I suddenly became an unneeded prop who didn't fit into his new jet set lifestyle and he left me to marry a women he met through work. In this world but then to Feel that he is a cheater. Emotionally and physically I am in such a better place now. Seriously, you should be a therapist.”, “If not for your articles I could not have gotten through the last 2 1/2 years so gracefully. I clung to my anger and the far-fetched notion of my ex actually doing the right thing until I became emotionally frozen. Im in the same boat...but my bitterness is frighteningly high and my ordeal happened just two months ago, even though there was alot of back and forth for months but i really thought i fought hard enough and continue to do what im suppose to do, we wouldve made it but alas.......and im immensely afraid to start over with anyone now or ever lol......wish there was an 'off' switch that i can move on and forget him. Clara, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I no longer trusted my own instincts. These women reveal why they hate their husbands and what they might be willing to do in response.