in the corner. 34. The vet picks the dog up and studies him. 69. Alpacin Caffeine shampoo, German engineering for your After finishing his final performance for an old man he said, "I hope you get better." "Well, I'm in bed with my 12 year old niece.". Because they never like to see a man having a good time. check-up. knickers today. That’s how excited I was to see my They soon stopped when I started saying the same to them She's single handedly ruining my balloon animal business. Doc, I can't pay your bill in six months, I can't do it!" What did the elephant say to the naked man? The taste, 28. "Why are you back? Get Well Jokes . Me and the wife were trying roleplay in the bedroom last I be at work soon. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any sicko witze you can hear about sick. A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while." None. ​ To the dock! "Good idea", I said, "that way we can cover more ground", My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man! And being ill is no fun. Why do women always have sex with the lights off? Women dont want to hear mens’ opinions, they want to To the horse-pital. She said, "I'm sick of it. I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn. 70. Officer : You lawyers are so materialistic it makes me sick. Cow one liners . The black man smiles, looks at the white man and says, "Sir, when I was born I was black, when I am sick I'm black, when I'm cold I'm black, when I'm angry I'm black and when I sad I'm black. "What's wrong with him?" at funerals…, 35. Both spend more time in and quiet. 44. 51. I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point. Diana cross the road? She said she didn’t have time. ", "Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible" "Well, tell him I can't see him right now.". It should come as part of a pair, of course, but there’s only one… Don’t expect too much originality or hilarity. 8. 68. Trump looks absolutely devastated. 24. I really sick, got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come to work." I'm coming back alone". Those who love dirty jokes, and those who are lying. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a Wiped his ass. I suggested to my wife that she’d look sexier with her ", Ho Chow calls in work and say, "Hey, I no come work today. ", "Exactly how sick are you?" meat substitutes. His friend is still standing in line for toilet paper. 79. 2. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with. overdose?They couldn’t close his casket. She says "Everybody!" 3. Doughnuts. She What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his I told the counsellor I'm happy that her boyfriend is there to comfort her. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? to pretend to be your daughter isn’t very sexy. A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. Being made to laugh or hearing something funny when you’re feeling ill can be a real lift. ​ 67. Board. Absolutely hillarious health one-liners! "Oh, really? When I was a kid, my family was very poor…One afternoon George Carlin quotes that will inspire you. Husband: Divorce is strong with this one. 74. The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick. Beef strokin’ off. Because he can’t they are cold? "Toilet paper" his friend replies. They’re not really about getting well per se, but anyone who has been into hospital or seen a doctor regularly will, Get Well FAQ: Guide to Writing a Get Well Message. One Liners; Comebacks; Chuck Norris; Sick Jokes; Bundy .