Saira’s husband, Steve, wasn’t one of them. Boundaries were set. So, to make a long story short, my partner and I have been committed for nearly 11 years. Unless you are 100% up for this and it is also something you actually want, not just something you think will keep him, i dont think it will work. You are currently signed in as (nobody). 1.1 1. Your husband is doing nothing to help you with this. We talk to our partners, trust them and communicate well. She doesn't enjoy your touch Which I think leads to more cheating, because it's easier for a lot of people to just sneak on the side, than risk an open, honest conversation with their SO. You're doing life well, friend. It is the opposite. In relationships where desire is dramatically different, both partners end up miserable. This could be the oldest trick in the book for cheaters. Let’s get few things straight; we’ve all been late and that’s ok. What do I gain when they're only with ever with me? At first I was like “fuck yeah that’s cool” & agreed to it (bc I too was certain about not being jealous). I’m not interested in getting into a debate about whether or not monogamy is right or wrong, natural or unnatural. Press J to jump to the feed. It’s difficult to deal with a cheating partner, but it’s not always the end of a relationship. If it were anything beyond physical, sexual or emotional relationships, wouldn't you support you and your partner finding joy, gratitude, fulfillment, support and love however and wherever they needed to live the life they wanted? You are both each others soul mate, its not one sided and if you are his soulmate then he wouldnt of cheated.You may think you wont be jealous, but when the time comes for him to sleep with someone else, you may feel very differently.When you love someone so much, you cant bear the thought of anyone else touching them.Im not surprised he wants to come back, he cant believe his luck, hes getting a better deal than what he had before, and your sort of rewarding his previous shit behaviour.I would much rather be with someone who couldnt possibly imagine having sex with someone else with or without my permission, rather than have someone who has previously cheated, thinks its great that you are allowing him to sleep with other people, and who isnt attracted to me.Any partner worth having will not want to sleep with another woman even if he has his partners permission. Granting your partner permission to have sex with someone else isn’t like waving them off to do something else you’d rather not – like go for an Indian, an adventure holiday or golf weekend. Like most morally tricky sex scenarios, what works in theory and what works in practice are poles apart. Love is about more than sex, true, but surely someone who loves you should want to make love to you, regardless of whether you have 'let yourself go' or not? But what if your partner is sleeping with someone else, but there’s no obvious signs that will help you solve the mystery? We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. June 7, 2016 To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet. Men are not dogs - he can control his urges and does not "need" to sleep with other women. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. This rings alarm bells for me I'm afraid. PREACH!!! I know he is YOUR soulmate, but I'm sorry, you can't be his, because he has treated you like shit - going off with another woman, making you feel it's your fault for being overweight, and now jumping at the idea of freedom to fuck around. When you are jealous of your partner's intetest in another person, you fear you will be replaced. Granting your partner permission to have sex with someone else isn’t like waving them off to do something else you’d rather not – like go for an Indian, an adventure holiday or golf weekend. You other partners. It doesn't change our games except that he sometimes comes up with tricks that I haven't seen before. But that's about me and my insecurities. It doesn't matter that it isn't true, it doesn't even matter that it doesn't make any sense, the notion that "you just don't do that" makes anyone who does do that a two-faced traitor. Two of your examples are BETTER than reality. It’ll stop him hassling me!” with lots of gleeful men also taking to social media to enthusiastically support a ‘sex leave pass’. Having that trust between us, I felt free enough to be excited by the idea of him sleeping with someone else, not just emotionally, but sexually. When I got that feeling of uneasiness I just realized “honeslty it’ll just be better if we don’t go bc if we do go I’ll get awkward about it which will lead to multiple arguments”. Having a meal with someone else? Is binging on box sets ruining your sex life? How about you ditch him and find a man who loves you AND wants to shag the pants off you. So instead of being in a bowling league, or going drinking with the guys/gals or some other hobby, their thing that they do away from their partner, is have another partner. This site we will assume that you support them says she doesn ’ t agreed it... Or touch usually leads to emotional bonds and is a-ok trust them and communicate well passion is back it! 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